Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML

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(606): View more from Kentucky

the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

Best friends brother. Beat that.

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(406): View more from Montana

They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl

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(630): View more from Illinois

i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out

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(925): View more from California

You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it

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(425): View more from Washington

We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party

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