THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now