I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
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Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
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The air was thick with penises
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird