Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it

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(702): View more from Nevada

Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(518): View more from New York

in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?

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(585): View more from New York

He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."

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(636): View more from Missouri

Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.

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(330): View more from Ohio

im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively

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