Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
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The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
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Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.