Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Yo dont text me then not text me
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
