Tell her she can't have a vagina
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
