I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
