whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
