What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
