we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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