she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
