There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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