He disabled his match.com account in front of me
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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