So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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