a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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