Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
