i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
