he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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