Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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