I feel like I'm in dance class right now
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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