STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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