I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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