pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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