so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
