let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
The air taste purple.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
