SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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