plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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