I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
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any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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