kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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