I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Randomize
