I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
