is your mom at the bar?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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