So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
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Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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