i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
