and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
