Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
