He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
