JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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