When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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