I'm eating all of the evidence.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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