Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
