After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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