So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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