hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell