I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.