I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
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oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
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All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Boobs are out for the taking
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.