i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
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You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
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I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."