i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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