Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize