where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
