just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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