I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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