I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
