You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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