idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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