it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
