I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize