She announced her abortion via fbk
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I need moral support for this bender
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
