That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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