is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
