Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
