Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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