I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
