so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
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I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
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I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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