I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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