the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
